Your Mate Is Not an Intimacy Coordinator
Why Assigning an IC Is Not the Same as Hiring a Trained Intimacy Professional
Indie filmmakers, I get it. You are working with a micro budget. Every dollar is stretched, your crew members are doing three jobs each, and bringing in another specialist can feel impossible. So, when your production includes intimacy, you ask someone on the team to act as the intimacy coordinator.
This person is kind and empathetic. They care about the cast and crew. Maybe they have even worked on a set with an IC before. So they agree to check in with the actors and make sure everyone is comfortable.
Safe intimacy: check
Except it does not necessarily make the work safer.
Giving an untrained person responsibility for intimate content can create a false sense of security. The production believes the risk has been managed, performers believe qualified support is present, and the person given the role may not know what they do not know.
Intimacy coordinators do not train simply to earn a title. Asking about boundaries, discussing consent and being present on set are only the visible parts of the job. Underneath them sits extensive training in choreography, power dynamics, risk assessment, performer advocacy, communication, mental health awareness, modesty garments, barriers, closed-set protocols and much more.
Most importantly, an IC knows what to do when things do not go to plan.
When a boundary changes. When communication breaks down. When the choreography is not working. When a performer freezes. When the pressure of the schedule begins influencing consent. When the production needs someone who can support the people involved while still helping the director achieve the scene.
A trained intimacy coordinator has strategies and equipment for when these situations arise. They have spoken with other intimacy professionals, continue to learn from others, read extensively, and study their craft. They are trained to care for their own mental health as well as that of others and gain experience over time. A good intimacy professional never stops learning, and another member of the crew cannot simply acquire all of that knowledge instantly.
Someone who has observed an IC may have picked up useful practices. That does not mean they are ready to take on the role. Watching an IC work when everything is going smoothly is like watching someone do a handstand. It can look simple because you are seeing the result of training, preparation and experience. The real test is not whether someone can repeat the visible steps of working on an intimate scene. It is whether they can recognise risk, respond appropriately and make sound decisions when the situation becomes complicated.
This does not mean every low-budget production needs an IC for every day of the shoot. An intimacy professional may be able to offer a consultation, script assessment, a rehearsal call or targeted day on set. Early career ICs may also offer more accessible rates while building their portfolios. A smaller professional engagement can still give your production a much stronger foundation.
You can appoint someone within the production to support communication, agreed processes and professional conduct around intimate scenes. That can be valuable, but they should not be presented to performers as a qualified intimacy coordinator.
This is not gatekeeping.It is about being honest about the level of support being provided.
Most indie filmmakers are not trying to cut corners at the expense of their cast. They generally care about their performers and crew, want to work ethically and are trying to find a solution within very real financial limitations.
Good intentions, however, are not a substitute for specialist training.
Speak to an intimacy professional early and ask what support is possible. Do not give someone the title if they do not have the training to carry the responsibility.
Perhaps it's also worth considering, that if your production cannot provide the support the material requires, whether this is a story you are equipped to tell right now.
